


You Look Better In Basic Black

by YouHaveBatBreath (orphan_account)



Category: Batman - All Media Types, The LEGO Batman Movie (2017)
Genre: Adorable Fluffy Fluff, Batjokes, Blind Date, Drabble, Dual Identities, Fluff, M/M, Matchmakers au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-29
Updated: 2017-08-29
Packaged: 2018-12-21 06:39:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11938437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/YouHaveBatBreath
Summary: Bruce gets set up by Barbara and finds himself on a date with a charming and very familiar gentleman.





	You Look Better In Basic Black

**Author's Note:**

> Blurb notes

Bruce was only slightly suspicious when Barbara invited him to dinner. They had long since decided that their friendship was that and only that, a friendship. Barbara’s interests were too deep into her work and her training, and Bruce liked being Batman too much for them to be able to work their way past the barrier into romantic affection, but she still remained his best friend and confidant, which is probably why he decided to hesitantly accept the invitation. 

That was how he found himself standing in the doorway of a fancy restaurant with a French name that he didn't really care to translate. A man with slicked back hair and a minuscule mustache greeted him with an adoring smile. 

“Why, Bruce Wayne of all people, at our humble establishment, how may I help you today, sir?” The words were as slick and oily as the man’s hair. Bruce felt immediately uncomfortable, though he was used to the kind of attention he never appreciated it. 

“I have a reservation, under the name Gordon, Barbara Gordon.” He clarified, just in case any other Gordons had decided to take a dinner date to the French restaurant. 

“Ah yes, the second part of the Gordon party, let me show you to your table, we wouldn't want that pretty face to wait too long on you, now would we? Follow me, if you will.” The familiarity made Bruce suppress a grimace, he wished for once the damned people would just treat him like a normal person rather than a celebrity. He followed after the man anyways because he knew if he was late Babs would take his head off. 

He was escorted to the very back of the restaurant and into a room off to the side that was decorated even more luxuriously than the main part. Bruce felt the hair rise up on his neck at the sight of more than few couples sitting in dimly lit circular booths along the walls in more than compromising positions. What exactly did Babs have in mind for tonight? A wave of relief washed over him when he was once again escorted into another room, this one quite smaller with only three tables spread throughout it. Two vastly different couples occupied two of them, and at the third sat a lone person. From the back all Bruce could see was a head of blond hair and the back of a lavender suit.

“Here you are, sirs, I do hope you'll have a pleasant evening. When you are ready to order just signal the waiter, and if you need anything I am just a call away.” Bruce was barely listening as he took his seat, his mind too busy trying to comprehend what was going on. 

He had wondered if it was a mistake at first, because he knew that Babs wasn't blond, and she most definitely wasn't a man. But when he took the offered seat and took the chance to actually look at the person sitting across from him, he realized that there was no way that it was a mistake, because he was sitting directly across from the Joker. Babs had to be playing a joke on him. 

His first instinct was to clench his fists and go into battle mode, but then he realized that the Joker didn't recognize him. It was obvious by the shy, somewhat confused smile sent his way, and that made it easier for him to relax and try not to blow his cover. 

They just kind of sat there and stared at eachother for a little bit before the Joker burst out into a fit of nervous giggles. “I-I'm sorry, but I think that one of us got seated at the wrong table.” He said, coloring in his unpainted cheeks. “I was supposed to be meeting a friend of mine here.” 

Bruce added to the laughter, though significantly less amused. “As was I, if I didn't know better I would say that we've been set up.” He decided to test the waters and see if the Joker really didn't know who he was, or if he was just playing dumb. “But, at least I got set up with a cutie like you.” He teased, a flirtatious wink floating along with the words, a combination that would melt the hearts of most of the female population. 

Female or no, the blush that flooded the villain’s cheeks was completely real. He looked so innocent with blond ringlets framing his narrow face, thick eyelashes enhanced with mascara and eyeliner that fluttered so sweetly, and those plump lips, just a tad too pink to be natural, caught between perfectly white teeth. It was almost difficult to believe that it was the same person who ran around Gotham laughing his ass off and blowing stuff up all of the time. But it was unmistakable, because even with the makeup enhancing his face, there was no hiding the jagged scars lining from the corners of his mouth and stretching towards his ears. 

“You flatter me, Mr Wayne.” Even his voice sounded different, Bruce noticed. It seemed softer, more relaxed. It was nice. “Coming from Gotham’s most eligible bachelor that is high praise.” The innocence that covered his face thinned, showing the Joker that Bruce knew underneath, a flash in his eyes that spoke of danger and excitement, even as his lips smiled so sweetly. 

Bruce played along into the little charade, knowing that it wasn't a good idea, but not really caring at the same time because maybe if he spent this time with the Joker as a semi-normal human being he could find out how to deal with him better as an opponent. Or at least that's what he told himself as he ordered a couple glasses of wine and spent the next hour enjoying the company of a man that he spent many a night fighting on the streets of Gotham. 

The Joker introduced himself as Jack, he expressed a love of old theatre, spotted puppies, and the color purple, at which point Bruce made sure to compliment him on his suit, which was very different from Bruce’s own navy one. The two ordered vastly different dishes after Jack insisted that it was the best idea so that they could try each other’s to see which was better. Bruce went along with the idea, ignoring the adoring smile from their waitress that was directed at the two of them. Women were the farthest thing from his mind, and it actually unnerved him a little bit upon realizing that if it was anyone other than the Joker sitting across from him he would probably take them home with him.

Jack was charming. There really wasn't any other words to describe him. He was funny, intelligent, and interesting. It took less than an hour for Bruce to realize that if he and the Joker had met under different circumstances, maybe in a world where Batman and the Joker didn't exist, they would have been very good friends, and possibly more than that. He knew that their chemistry as enemies was burning with rage and competition, fueled by the desire to one up the other in an endless battle, and he could only imagine that if they channeled those same emotions and desires into something more… pleasurable, it would be an exciting experience to say the least. 

“Bruce? Are you listening?” The billionaire broke out of his reverie, an embarrassed smile planting itself on his face when he realized that he had dazed off in the middle of a conversation. 

“I'm sorry,” he apologized, laughing softly. “I'm afraid I wasn't listening.” Jack smiled slyly at his response. 

“You were thinking about someone, weren't you?” Bruce’s surprised silence was answer enough for him and he giggled. “Bruce Wayne, billionaire, playboy, Gotham’s most eligible bachelor, who on earth could it be that could put such a smile on your face?” He didn't know that he'd been smiling, he mustn't have realized it while he was zoned out. 

“Oh, you wouldn't be interested in that.” Bruce said, taking a sip of his wine and smirking over the lip of the glass at the obviously curious man across from him. 

“If I wasn't curious I wouldn't have asked.” The comment was straight to the point, and Bruce got the feeling that Jack was genuinely curious about who had been on his mind. He relented. 

“I honestly was thinking about Batman.” He said, letting the half-truth slide off of his tongue. The curiosity in Jack’s eyes flared and a blinding smile lit up his face. 

“Oh really?! I'm a fan of his! Don't tell me that you're billionaire status allows you to have the Bat on call for you?” Bruce was sure if the Joker got any more animated he would probably have sparkles in his eyes. 

“No, no. He's just a friend.” Another half-truth that was easier to say than revealing himself. “But you know,” he really shouldn't be doing what he was about to do. “If you're such a fan, I could probably arrange a meeting for you two?” The look of complete awe and confusion on Jack’s face was adorable. 

“For me?” He asked, acting every bit the innocent citizen that he appeared to be. “Why would you do that for me? We just met.” He sounded almost forlorn, as if no one had ever done a kind thing for him before and it was completely new territory. The thought made Bruce feel sorry for the other man. 

“Well, we know eachother now.” Bruce said, daring to slide his hand across the table and gently brush Jack’s fingers with his own. “And that's makes us friends. So I'm allowed to do something nice for you.” 

Jack damn near had hearts in his eyes and, not for the first time, Bruce wondered if he had ever been taken out and doted on before, or if this was the first time. It was easy for him to push away the voice in mind telling him that this was The Joker and he should not be thinking about ways to make this date even better. He should be getting up and leaving, not indulging himself and the attraction he'd felt for the formerly green-haired man since they had first met. 

But Bruce Wayne had a problem where he did all of the things that his mind told him that he absolutely should not do, which led to him helping Jack put on his long, elegant coat after dinner, and escorting him out of the door. Rather than getting in a taxi the two ended up strolling down the uptown street together, Jack looping his arm through Bruce’s at one point as they walked past a group of giggling girls. Even after they passed and were out of sight he didn't remove it, and Bruce accepted the cute gesture. 

There was a movie playing in the theatre, but they walked past it without sparing a glance, choosing instead to take a lazy stroll and casually window shop while they conversed. Bruce would never have believed someone if they had told him that he would be doing this in the future, but now that he was here it seemed much too natural. 

Talking to Jack was kind of like talking to Joker, but with less angry jabs, and more flirting and subtle teases, which was why Bruce found it so easy to do what they were doing. It wasn't like he was suddenly mooning over a stranger, because he had known the Joker for years, and he’d been attracted to him for just as long. He'd just never thought that he would get the chance to act on the attraction.

“Oh that's so pretty!” Jack exclaimed, pulling Bruce over to the edge of a small covered bridge that they had wandered off on. He laughed, completely delighted as he pointed at a lights display floating out on a little stream that flowed below them. Tiny little light penguins were sitting up on a piece of faux ice, it was just the end of autumn but the Christmas decorations were already coming out all over the place. Bruce decided he didn't mind when Jack practically dragged him around to see them as more and more seemed to appear. 

The childlike joy on his face was so pure and innocent that Bruce found it hard to associate it with the Joker that was known for his destructive tendencies. Perhaps, just like Batman was for him, the Joker was a mask for Jack. But rather than putting it on to do good, he uses the Joker to hide himself from the repercussions of his evil actions. Or was Jack the mask? Bruce didn't know. All he knew was that he was enjoying the time that he was spending with this polar opposite of his greatest enemy, and he didn't really want it to end. 

Despite Bruce’s wishes the night came to an end eventually, though the sun had long since set and it was in the am when they finally parted ways. The exchange of phone numbers felt natural, and Bruce asked in the most gentlemanly way he could think of before chastely kissing Jack on the cheek.

The blond man hailed a taxi, and Bruce held the door for him as he sipped inside. “You know, Bruce, I’d really love to do this again sometime.” Jack said, rolling down the window before closing the door. He peered up at Bruce and the billionaire returned his warm gaze. 

“As would I.” He agreed. 

“Wanna know a secret?” Gleeful excitement shone in those oh so green eyes, and Bruce found himself bending over to offer his ear to the blond angel. 

“I think you look better in black, Batsy.”

The words shocked Bruce to his core, and it was all he could do to stand there dumbfounded as the Joker signaled the taxi driver to take off, and watch as he drove away. 

He stood there for a moment, his brain trying and failing to process exactly what the hell had just happened. He wasn't exactly sure what this meant for his relationship with the Joker, but he knew that things were about to get a lot more fun.

**Author's Note:**

> More blurb notes .... FLUFF


End file.
